Silence

That was really beautiful. I really liked the part about the girl in the meadow. The use of vocabulary was really amazing! I really felt like I knew the character.

Warrior Princess wrote:Thanks! I was like half asleep while writing this lol. Does it show? O_O

Your imagery, more than anything, amazes me. I also like how you describe pain as painting "scarlet roses on [your] soul"-that's definitely a perspective on pain I've never seen before.

"I don't understand the words,
but it haunts me--it hurts me."

Just to clarify something: what does "it" refer to? If "it" refers to "words", you should change "it" to "they", so that the pronoun agrees with the antecedent.

Overall, a very good poem.

Thanks! I was like half asleep while writing this lol. Does it show? O_O

nice poem. I especially liked the last part, about dancing in a meadow. Wouldn't that be fun?

Warrior Princess wrote:In the end, there was a silence.

One by one I watched the petals fall,
soft and white against the flames.
Chaos all around me, but somehow
there was nothing inside me.
A numbness I welcomed.
After the pain had bloomed,
painting scarlet roses on my soul,
I was erased; all was white.
My substitute for peace.

I did not sleep: I drifted.

I am standing at the edge of a meadow.
It must be autumn; the leaves are falling.
A girl dances in the wind,
a halo of dying sunlight on her hair.
She dances in a waking dream,
for she knows nothing.
She is happy--she is singing.
I don't understand the words,
but it haunts me--it hurts me.

Do I wake or sleep?

The surface of the water shimmered,
and rays of light rained down on me,
but I held on to the fading fragments--
the last echoes of the voice,
the words I would never know.
Somehow in the darkness I clung to that girl,
believing in everything, and knowing nothing.
I would never return to myself.
I would dance in the meadow,
and forever hide from the flames,
between a memory and a dream.

I fade to silence. . . .